Holding Space for Love: Coping with Grief During the Holidays

The holidays can be a beautiful season—full of lights, laughter, and familiar traditions—but for anyone grieving, they often carry a heaviness that others can’t see. When someone we love is no longer here, the season doesn’t just feel different; it feels changed. Chairs sit empty, songs sound softer, and the rituals we once looked forward to can suddenly feel overwhelming. Yet even in this difficult time, there are gentle ways to navigate the season with tenderness, care, and meaning.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and it certainly doesn’t pause for the holidays. One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is to allow your feelings to surface without judgment. Whether you’re experiencing sadness, guilt, loneliness, or even moments of joy—every emotion is a natural part of the healing process. Give yourself permission to step back when needed. It’s okay if some celebrations feel too loud or if you need a quiet moment away from the bustle. Creating boundaries can be an act of self-love.

Sometimes, the pressure to “be merry” can intensify grief. Instead of forcing normalcy, consider gently adapting traditions or creating new ones. Lighting a candle in your loved one’s memory, hanging a special ornament on the tree, or setting out a favorite photo can bring comfort while acknowledging their lasting place in your life. Some families choose to cook a loved one’s favorite holiday dish or play the music they adored. These small acts keep them close and turn grief into a form of remembrance.

Connection can also be incredibly healing. Sharing stories with friends or family members who knew your loved one can transform tears into warmth. Even if others don’t fully understand what you're carrying, opening your heart to someone you trust can lighten the weight just a little. And if being around people feels too hard, spending time outdoors, journaling, or simply sitting quietly can offer its own kind of peace. Grief often softens when we find safe spaces to express it.

The holidays can also bring intense stress. Expectations, gatherings, travel, and responsibilities pile up quickly. Creating a slower pace—saying no to things that aren’t necessary, simplifying your plans, or choosing smaller, more meaningful activities—can help protect your emotional energy. Remember that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish; it’s essential. You’re allowed to care for yourself, especially now.

Many people find comfort in giving back during the holidays as a way to honor the love they miss. Donating to a cause that mattered to your loved one, surprising someone with a kindness, or gifting a personalized memorial keepsake to someone else who is grieving can turn sorrow into a gesture of light. These acts remind us that while grief changes us, love continues to grow outward.

Above all, know this: you are allowed to feel what you feel. You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to remember. The holidays may be hard, but they can still hold pockets of gentleness, connection, and meaning. Grief may change the season, but love remains—quietly, steadily, always.